


With Shaking Hands

by SirenAlpha



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 20:04:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5428979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirenAlpha/pseuds/SirenAlpha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They lose, and Nursey puts his hand on Dex's back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With Shaking Hands

**Author's Note:**

> I just have no chill.

Dex shakes, and he doesn’t look up. He’s already thrown away his helmet, and he’s pulling off his gloves with the same mindless ferocity.

“Dex,” Nursey says softly. His voice is going, hoarseness brought about by screaming during the game and all the emotion piling in his throat. It comes out quiet, but Dex still hears him.

“Don’t,” Dex tells him. His voice is just as shaky and broken as Nursey’s, but his glare is hard.

Nursey lets him keep his anger while they’re out in the open. The whole team has a long and dark bus ride home left to wallow individually in their personal disappointment. Nursey’s chest feels as if it’s been hollowed out, but he keeps his hands steady as he pulls off all his gear. Dex’s hands are still shaking and it takes him longer to get dressed again.

Nursey looks for Chowder as he waits for Dex to finish, but he’s huddled up with their backup goalie. Nursey can’t watch them. It hurts in a way he can’t fix.

“Let’s go,” Dex says roughly as soon as he finishes, and Nursey lets him lead the way back out to the bus.

They’re not the first on, and Jack and Bitty file onto the bus well after they’ve settled into their seats. Jack doesn’t look at them as he makes his way to an open seat. Nursey is relieved to see Bitty sit beside him and that Shitty is just across the aisle way with Lardo.

Dex has his hands clenched, but that hasn’t made them stop shaking. Nursey puts a hand on Dex’s shoulder as the lights in the bus go down. “Dex,” he says, again, and his voice comes out more easily this time.

“We should have won,” Dex snaps, voice too tight.

“We have next year,” he reminds him. It’s what Nursey’s parents would tell him. Dex reacts the same way Nursey would were he not the one saying it and glares at him.

“Not all of us,” Dex says coldly.

“I know,” Nursey insists, wrapping his arm around Dex’s shoulders. If Dex won’t take comfort in it, Nursey will. He can’t get lost in this, doesn’t want to, not when he still has three years left and others have none.

“We could have done it,” Dex whispers, voice hoarse and shaking.

“Yeah, we could have,” he agrees.

“And you’re just okay with losing?” he snaps without raising his voice.

“Dex,” Nursey pleads, and it’s too much to have Dex’s anger breaking on him, too. He can’t give up anymore of himself and tugs Dex towards him, burying his face against Dex’s shoulder. He hates losing and being needy like this but he can’t stop himself from stealing this from Dex. He doesn’t want to know if Dex would push him away and moves to pull away after less than a second, but Dex stops him. He wraps his arms around Nursey, and his hands aren’t shaking. He mumbles, “Sorry.”

Nursey lets out the breath he’s been holding all semester, too scared to ever touch or look for too long, too unsure of whether it would only lead to rejection. He shifts, pressing as close as he can to Dex. Dex sighs and runs his hands over Nursey’s back. Nursey clutches at Dex, grabbing a fistful of the fabric of his shirt against his ribs. No one needs to know but Dex if he cries from the mix of emotions piling up in his throat.

It begins to ache, staying in that position for so long, but Nursey doesn’t want to pull away. He does to get a look at Dex. Dex watches him carefully. “Are you okay? I didn’t mean-.”

“I’m fine,” Nursey assures him, and his voice sounds awful.

Dex sighs and pulls his arms away. Nursey regrets saying anything, but sits still and watches as Dex shifts around so his back is to the window. “Think this would be better?” Dex asks.

“For what?”

Dex rolls his eyes. “For you to cry on me some more, of course.”

“Shut up,” he says, but accepts his offer.

It’s not the most comfortable because they’re still in bus seats, but Nursey prefers it over not having Dex at all. He sets his head against Dex’s chest and listens to his heart beat as Dex continues to run his hands over him.

The bus comes to a stop too soon. Off the bus, he can see everyone looks awful and beat up and he’s certain he looks just as bad. He grabs his bag and looks over to Dex, suddenly worried about losing him. Dex meets his gaze and nods. Nursey didn’t even realize he was asking Dex anything, but he leads him back to his dorm room anyways.

“Got pjs I can borrow?” Dex asks, quieter than he’d been on the bus. They’re trying to let Nursey’s roommate sleep.

“Yeah,” Nursey says, going to find sweatpants and a soft shirt for both of them to wear and not watch Dex as he starts stripping.

Dex takes the offered clothes wordlessly, and Nursey suddenly has no idea what he’s doing, putting on pajamas mindlessly as his mind whirs away to no effect. He’s imagined taking people back to his room, but not like this. He doesn’t know what comes next.

“Got a side you prefer?” Dex asks in a whisper.

Nursey shakes his head. Dex shrugs and just climbs into Nursey’s bed like it’s no big deal. He motions for Nursey to join him. Nursey cautiously makes his way to his bed, and Dex smiles at him teasingly.

“Shut up,” Nursey hisses at him as he finally climbs in.

Dex wraps himself around him immediately, pulling the covers in tight around them. It takes him a little while before he settles with his head on Nursey’s shoulder. “Never pegged you for a cuddler,” Nursey says, turning towards Dex.

“Don’t get many opportunities to be,” Dex confesses, eyes already closed.

Nursey brushes Dex’s bangs back from his forehead and they flop right back into place. Dex smiles, and Nursey wraps his arm around him tightly. “Go to sleep,” Dex whispers. “I didn’t come so you could mess with me.”

“But you are here to sleep with me,” Nursey says, knowing he sounds like he’s teasing, but he’s so grateful. He gives Dex a squeeze and hopes he knows what he means by it.

“Well, we need to recover from that game and talk about it first.”

Nursey opens his eyes barely making out Dex’s face in the darkness, and he can’t tell if he’s blushing. “Really?” he asks, running his fingers gently over Dex’s cheek and feeling a lot of heat coming off them.

“Maybe,” he whispers back, and Nursey can hear his nervousness.

It’s more than enough for Nursey tonight. He sighs and wraps his arm around Dex again. It takes hardly any time for him to fall asleep.

He wakes to bright sunlight and Dex still in bed with him, though he has pushed down the covers to their waists. Dex lies on his back with one hand on the arm Nursey still has over him. “Your roommate was gone before I woke,” Dex tells him softly.

“Probably for the best,” Nursey says. “I’ll talk to him about this later. Right now I don’t want to move.”

This time there’s plenty of light for Nursey to see Dex blush.


End file.
